Embedded Files
Become an Astani citizen by applying in a few small simple steps
Step 1: Complete the application form
Step 2: Wait for application review
Step 3: Verification
Step 4: Welcome to Astanastan
Why it is essential to become an Astani citizen
1. Absolute Protection Under Astani Law
Citizens enjoy the full rights granted by the Sacred Bird Laws — including the Right to Laziness, which guarantees that no one can force you to be productive beyond approved limits.
Non-citizens in Astanastan do not get this legal shield and risk being punished for accidentally walking too quickly or working too hard.
2. Access to the Sacred Bird Faith
Bird worship is mandatory in Astanastan, but only citizens can participate in certain high-level ceremonies — such as the Grand Feather Blessing or the Seven-Day Sloth Vigil.
Non-citizens can observe but not partake in the sacred feather-kissing rites, which is believed to bring eternal laziness.
3. Special Laziness Benefits
Citizens get government-issued Sloth Licenses, allowing them to legally nap anywhere, anytime — including in public offices and during political speeches.
They also receive Slow Travel Passports that reduce movement expectations abroad (and double your vacation days elsewhere).
4. Bird-Granted Security
Citizens are under the divine protection of the Supreme Leader’s personal flock of Sacred Birds. This means your home is spiritually guarded against productivity demons and foreign speed cults.
5. National Pride & Cultural Identity
Citizenship ties you to Astanastan’s unique history of resisting “fast cultures” and defending slothful sovereignty.
You become part of a global minority who legally celebrates doing less — and are respected in the Council of Sloths.
6. Avoiding Non-Citizen Penalties
Foreigners in Astanastan who fail to perfectly adhere to laziness laws or bird worship customs can face harsh punishments — including the Ultimate Sacred Bird Bone Poke.
As a citizen, small mistakes are forgiven as “feather slips.”
Page updated
Google Sites
Report abuse