All Thurston War News Articles
Group of Rebels attack Capital on Thurston Island commencing a War!
"Chief Minister Placid Penguin II of Thurston vows to end to this unacceptable rebellion"
Summary
At around 03:00 a group of Rebellious Penguins began launching raids on Thurston Island. There was estimated to be over 100 of them participating in the Rebellion. Violent actions such as extreme promotion of productivity, running, usage of dangerous weapons, promotion of disrespect towards Astanastan, the call for the downfall of the Thurstonese Government and harassment of locals have all been committed in this Rebellion. The Thurstonese Leader "Emperor Placid Penguin II has declared that on the behalf of Astanastan the rebellion will suffer severe consequences for its actions. The Astani Mainland Government is expected to publicly respond to the atrocious rebellion soon.
So far Zero Casualties have been reported, however there are over 10 recorded injuries all of which were Thurstonese civilians. The Rebellions leader has conspired to lead the militia towards the capital building of the Dominion of Thurston and Burke Islands and sieze control through whatever methods possible. The Thurston military is expected to be deployed and be send to protect the Capital Building and Emperor. The Government of Thurston and Burke Island has declared war against the Rebellion and hopes to end it very soon.
What is known about the Rebellion is little but we do currently have some information about the rebellion. We know that they want to overthrow the Government on Thurston Island. We know that they are very Anti Astani and want to remove Astani Control over the Island. And we know that they support productivity and other extreme ideas. Although it is not known for sure we suspect that they could be sponsored by the AA, or Debbieland.
2/9/25
Capital Building on Thurston Island Besieged as more is identified about the rebellion
"Astanastan has prepared there military and is ready to defend there Dominion and the values of the Sacred Birds"
Summary
After the Raids on the Capital of Thurston Island Yesterday the Rebellion made there way to the Capital building and surrounded it. There are only 50 Thurstonese soldiers stationed to defend the capital building which means that if a full on battle broke out we would most likely lose as the rebellion has nearly 2x the amount of soldiers on there side.
The Rebellion has insisted that the Turstonese Government surrender or face an invasion. The terms that the Rebellion has insisted is that they gain control over the Capital city and a stretch of land that leads to the coast. The rebels insist on establishing a state where only productivity is promoted and that the Penguins are the Only and Most Sacred Birds of all. Both the Thurstonese Leader and Astani Minister of Overseas regions have firmly declines this offer as it violates our values and pride.
The Rebellion
Although not much we have gained new information about the the Rebellion. They are an extremist group that consists of many former Thurstonese and Burken citizens. We know that there is between 100-250 of them in total and we know that they have been planning this for over 6 months. These citizens were possibly unhappy with the pure ideals of Astanastan that was brought to the Islands and most likely wanted to resume there former violent acts of productivity such as running or cliff diving. As of right now we are conducting more private investigations to learn about these attrocious militants.
3/9/25
!!!Breaking News!!!
Astanastan initiates evac protocol on Turston after Gunfire exchanged!
Meanwhile the illegal Organization has now revealed more about themselves and been identified as the PPMT
Summary
After an illegal militia attacked the capital city of Thurston Island and besieged the capital building we have been putting in as much effort as we can to help out the Emperor and the Thurstonese Government. Earlier today a group of Sacred Birds made a desperate flight over the Capital building on Thurston Island to deliver supplies to the Thurstonese Military and all Government Officials trapped inside the building. Shortly after the supply drop the Rebellion exchanged gunfire resulting in 1 causality on the Thurstonese Military side.
Astanastan and Thurston have prepared the Evacuation Protocal in case of emergency in order to protect the Thurston and Burke Government. What has occured so far in the process is that the Capital city of the Dominion/ Nation has been moved to the East Coast and a sercet getaway group has been prepared for all of the officials trapped in the seige. It is only a matter of time before the Thurstonese Capital building is attacked so we must be prepared for every case. We may be losing this battle but we have not lost the War. This is not the end, it is barely the beginning, We will rise again!
The Group
After the Gunfire exchange the rebellion made a speech through a megaphone identifying themselves and their purpose. The Leader went under the Pseudonym "Productive Penguin" and identified the Rebellion as the PPMT or Productive Penguins Militia of Thurston. They claimed their ultimate goal was to remove all of the Astani military from the Island and establish a new State were Productivity is enforced. Our People and the People of Thurston and Burke Islands have heavily protested this new group as they have shown clear intent to torture all of the citizens under their rule through Productivity enforcement. Also the SBL launched a hidden investigation and discovered that it is very likely this group is financed and aided by the active alliance all though not an entity or puppet that belongs to them.
6/9/25
!!!Breaking News!!!
Thurston Capital Building captured after brutal battle while Astanastan and TBI find a way to prevent further spreading!
Some say this marks the fall of the Thurston and Burke Islands as a unified Empire
Summary
On the 8th of September 2025 tragedy struck. After a 5 day long siege the PPMT rebellion finally attacked the building. Before battle the Military defending the building with ease were suddenly startled by gunshots. After the fighting started the PPMT advanced towards the building at illegally rapid speeds. Once the officials of Thurston and Burke Island reported this to the Astani Overseas Minister he initiated the "Evac Protocol". In the Protocol the military and Imperial Protection services of Thurston defended the Emperor of Thurston with there lives and successfully evacuated him from the building. He was then relocated to the new capital of Thurston Island where he is being kept safe over 60 km away from rebel controlled territory. Sadly this successful evacuation an relocation did not come without a cost. 15 casualties were reported, 6 of which were on our side. 1 Imperial protection agent and 1 soldier were killed in battle while there were 2 injuries and 2 people captured.
The New Government
After the Rebellion seized full control over the Former capital they declared themselves to become independent. The "Productive Penguin" was broadcasted live where he read out the declaration of independence. The Group declared themselves independent from the Thurston and Burke Islands and declared themselves free of Astani control. It only gets a lot worse from there. They then preceded to establish there self proclaimed "National Kingdom of West Thurston" and laid claims to everything North east of Mount Simpson and the Starr Peninsula. The worst parts of this independence as stated in there declaration was the establishment of a state of Productivity and encouragement of only worshipping Penguins as sacred Birds. They declared that they will punish anyone who refuses to pledge loyalty to the rebellion and will mandate bird consumption. Astanastan and Thurston are infuriated with this new state and vow to put an end to it before it gets any worse
8/9/25
!!!Breaking News!!!
Thurston and Burke Islands collapse after intense 5 day long battle!
Thurston and Burke Islands has split into 3 different zones of control
Summary
The Battle
On the 13th of September 2025 The Unified Thurston and Burke Islands suddenly collapsed as a whole after the chaotic battle at Hughes Peninsula. After the fall of the original capital into the PPMT, the rebellion quickly spread throughout west Thurston and attempted to take multiple strategic point from Astanastan and the TBI. These strategic points were the Hughes and Jones Peninsulas. The TBI Government prepared Hundreds of Soldiers to attack from the Henry Inlet while Astanastan prepared an army of their own to launch an invasion on Hughes Peninsula before the PPMT could. On the morning of the 10th of September the Productive Penguin order General Q. Quickpenguin to launch an assault against the Hughes and Jones Peninsulas with hundreds of units which is what officially commenced the Battle. Initially went well for the Astanis and TBI however 12 hours in to the battle the PPMT evacuated the Hughes Peninsula and led the Astani units into a storm which caused over 22 deaths and 30+ injuries. At around 19:25 on the 11th of September the Storm cleared and the weakened Astanis were raided by the energized PPMT. This inflicted heavy losses and Casualties on our side and even with multiple Bird strikes the Astanis found it difficult to fight back. On the morning of the 12th The Astani Minister of Citizens ordered a Birdstrike of over 1500 birds whom all flew to Thurston. This Birdstrike was the moment of Hope for the Astani soldiers about to be cast off the Peninsula as it inflicted many casualties on the enemy. As the PPMT fell back to the Astani forces of Laziness a final nail in the coffin was put down when a PPMT soldier, realizing his wrongdoings turned on all of the top generals and executing them with the weapons he had at his disposal. Although he was eventually killed he had already successfully killed 4 PPMT generals and the top general Q. Quickpenguin. Despite the battle resulting in mostly an Astani and TBI victory there were over 90 casualties suffered on our side including 55 deaths. which was over double the amount of casualties the PPMT suffered.
The Fall of the Government
After the Battle of Hughes TBI forces were exhausted and the TBI government called in many more forced from the colonies to help replenish the lost. As the colonies became less populated with military personnel many SUPER SLOWLY moved over to the Souther Thurston Islands. After a Major Colony was formed on Sherman Island the citizens requested to be split from the Thurston and Burke Islands completely. The Major Representative and Chairman of the Sherman colony visited Astanastan on the 13th of September in order to negotiate separation. Eventually and agreement was reached the if 150 Astani soldiers were allowed to set up military bases on the Southern Islands, the Southern Islands could be separated from the TBIU. At 18:00 on the 13th of September the Southern Thurston Union (STU) became independent from from The Thurston and Burke Islands with approval from Astanastan. The STU has sprung into action to help Thurston and Burke by sending prayers to the Birds and Sleeping 19+ hours a day. The now Principle of the STU has said "We will aid our allies thorugh the values we as Birds have promised to the Sacred Birds". The STU has sent 500,000,000,000,000,000 ASTD to the Turstonese military in order to aid in the fight against the PPMT. Despite this seeming somewhat good for the TBI, they just lost all of there Islands excluding Burke Island and there half of the Main Island. The PPMT is also Conspiring an invasion of Burke Island should the Emperor refuse to surrender the demanded territories.
13/9/25
!!!Breaking News!!!
Astanastan traces PPMT Finances and discovers shocking Truth as Battle once again seems inevitable!
All though we were aware of some of these illegal organizations existing we could never have imagined the genuine scale
Summary
Illegal Finances
After the Astani victory on the Peninsula and successful securing of the Northwest Coast of TBI we have launched many further investigations on the PPMT. We used the team of our best hackers on the SBL to trace the finances that allowed the PPMT to exist and discovered a shocking truth. As it turns out it is not a foreign country or group that is financing the PPMT but 3 separate Astani Criminal organizations 1 of which is run in the Astani mainland. Because of our jurisdiction limits we are setting the Criminal Organization in the mainland as our top priority for the one to be removed first in order to avoid additional conflicts. The organization in the mainland Astanastan is responsible for 25% of all financial aid towards the PPMT and Astani sources predict that this will be the easiest one to remove. In order to assist the SPD, Military and SBL The Astani Minister of Citizens has issued an order requiring all Astani citizens to enter a hibernation of sleep for the next 144 hours until all matters are resolved. Avian scouts are examining the General location of suspicion after the IP was logged and the All Astani forces are prepared to raid the locations in question. Should the operation be a success the PPMT will lose a lot of their finances and will weaken from the inside which will open the opportunity for more successful military offences in the future.
The War
The PPMT leader has threatened Astanastan and the TBI with more fighting If we did not surrender the East Coast to the TBI. Both the TBI Government and Astanastan government have rejected the ultimatum and have threatened the leader back. Astanastan has sent an offer to all the top PPMT officials requesting that they defect to Astanastan in order to have the chance being spared from the fate of the Birds. As of right now we have only sent the notices to 10 PPMT officials and of the officials that received it only 2 attempted to defect both of which were killed before they could escape rebel territory. On top of that due to the threats against the Burke Island the TBI Emperor and General agreed to send 35 soldiers to Burke Island to defend it in case of an attack. The Penguins promised to sleep the whole way there and sleep upon arrive while taking guidance from the Birds.
20/9/25
!!!Breaking News!!!
PPMT attack on Burke Island successful despite loss of major finances!
Astani defense aid on Burke Island failed despite the Successful assault on the PPMT's financial suppliers
Summary
Burke Island Falls
On the 27th of September after a nearly week long battle took place between the PPMT and the Astani backed Burke Forces fell. The Battle commenced on the 22nd of September when the PPMT showed up on icebergs to attack the island in a quick and violent productive manner. The PPMT showed up with over 65 militants while the Burke Island only had 35 soldiers defending. Despite the large outnumbering ratio the defending soldiers were still able to inflict over 50 casualties on the PPMT before falling. The 5 survivors of the battle were all executed immediately after the Battle of Burke. As a result the Supreme Minister of Citizens launched operation "BirdStrike" on the 28th of September. The Operation involved sending over 6500 bird to launch an attack against PPMT occupants in Burke Island and the Capital of Thurston on the gateway of the Mountain ridge. The legitimate Emperor of Thurston and Burke Islands celebrated the strike as they were able to successfully inflict over 30 casualties on the illegal PPMT.
Underground assault on KFC
On the 26th of September the SPD, SBL and Astani Military summoned over 100 units combined to launch an extremely slow assault on a suspected underground KFC. The PPMT has been receiving finances from 3 illegal criminal organizations since Astani acquisition of Thurston Island. One of the illegal organizations was traced to the Astani Province of Lasicha on the 20th of September which resulted in the SBL launching an investigation on the address of the suspected underground organization. The Minister of the SBL sent Bird drones and an undercover agent to investigate the address and ultimately discovered that it was a $5 million Dollar underground illegal KFC. The Undercover agent took multiple photos of the illegal KFC and presented them to the Minsiter. Once enough evidence was presented the Minister gave approval for a police raid. The SPD and Astani Military were then called to aid in the operation and finally on the 26th of September the raid was launched. Over 20 criminals were arrested and all face the possibility of a Bird Sacrifice.
28/9/25
!!!Breaking News!!!
Astanastan launches Birdstrike on PPMT forced near Burke Island
Astanastan is starting to use far more effective tactics to take on the PPMT
Summary
On the 2nd of September 2025 the PPMT launched an attack against the Astanastan controlled nation of Thurston and Burke Island. The group behind the attack revealed themselves as the "PPMT" which was a movement to "productify" the Thurston and Burke Islands. on the 27th of September the PPMT launched a successful invasion on Burke Island and took out over 30 TBI soldiers. After the attack the Minister of Citizens ordered a successful "Birdstrike" against the PPMT severely weakening there Capital forces. After seeing the effectiveness in the method the Minister of Citizens and the Emperor of Thurston Island ordered a second Birdstrike against the PPMT only this time targeting the militants on Burke Island. Over 1000 Birds were sent to Burke Island and made a successful attack and only suffered 1 casualty which is currently being treated. Before the attack there were 85 PPMT militants controlling Burke Island after the attack there were only 55 left. The Thurstonese Emperor is insisting that this is a good time to reclaim the Island, however Astanastans Ministers have not taken much action yet.
1/10/25
!!!Breaking News!!!
Thurstonese civillians massacred after protesting the PPMT
"While protesting over 200 civilians were massacred on Mount Simon officials say"
Summary
At around 08:00 a group of over 100 penguins living in the illegally occupied capital of the Thurston and Burke Island took to the streets to protest the forced productivity laws implimented by the PPMT militant organization. As the first 100 Penguins started to set up their hammocks more and more Penguins joined in. Eventually there were over 300 Penguins sleeping in Hammocks protesting the PPMT at the Capital. After just 2 hours of Protesting and sleeping over 100 PPMT militants surrounded the sleeping protesters and as a witness said "Before you knew it they started firing" In the Chaos over 25 Sleeping Penguins were murdered by the Productive Penguins immediately and 200 others were arrested. Of those arrested the PPMT has already executed 30 and is threatening to execute the remaining of them in order to put fear in all who attempt to repeat the process. Astanastan is heavily condemning the attacks and the Supreme Minister of Citizens is preparing to launch another Birdstrike on the PPMT capital in order to teach them a lesson.
6/10/25